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whistling doppler

Here are 3 versions of a haiku I have recently been working on. V1whistling doppler cries sweep overhead at sunset white cockatoos   V2whistling doppler cries cut a swathe across the sky white...

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Re: whistling doppler

To be perfectly honest I don't get what you mean by whistling doppler cries, I can but presume that the sounds changing are from the birds...I'm head scratching here...and that it is the cockatoos...

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Re: whistling doppler

Scientifically I know what the doppler effect is, but I have no idea in what context it is applied to this haiku Liz. Clarification please

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I'm sure you have heard the doppler effect of a siren or a train whistle as it approaches and recedes, the typical changing frequency of the sound. Every evening, large flocks of cockatoos fly into...

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Re: whistling doppler

..hi Liz.. there'll all very good..i like the second and third more; can't decide which of the two i like more..i had to research 'doppler' too..i've heard the word..i was about to research some more...

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Like I mentioned it was the sounds of the birds but for me I like clarity, I don't want to have to go hunting up two words out of nine because truth be known, I am not in Australia with noisy birds....

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Re: whistling doppler

my choice is V2  because it is smoother..I like the first one,  but it takes a second to 'get it'and that kind of breaks the mood.  In V2,   L1flows right into L2,  and then the pause,and the image of...

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Re: whistling doppler

Thanks all for your thoughts. Dinah, of course you should give your opinion. It is always valuable and you don't have to be an expert on anything to know what works for you and what doesn't. The big...

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Thanks Liz, like I said, I understand entirely the doppler effect, and I can now see how you have applied it. To be honest, (which is always the best policy), it doesn't work for me, it's all a bit...

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Re: whistling doppler

That's probably because you have never heard a flock of white cockatoos.

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Re: whistling doppler

I must admit I'd never heard of this doppler effect until I read the replies. A few thoughts come to mind on these. Firstly "whistling doppler cries" made me think that there was just the one bird...

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Re: whistling doppler

Very true, I never have, but I expect I am in the majority.

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Re: whistling doppler

Thanks, Matt, for your input. It is much appreciated. To think that whistling doppler is a bird is a reasonable assumption, if you don't know what doppler means. You understood that the ku was about...

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Re: whistling doppler

Thanks, Douglas. I do appreciate your input and I understand that the ku doesn't work for you. Which part do you find vague and disconnected?

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I suppose I'm just not keen on the subject matter Liz. The lines are just three lines of writing to me, I get no sense of connection to nature or the spirit of the haiku. End of the day, we can't all...

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Re: whistling doppler

That's fair enough. If I were wealthy, I would buy you an air ticket to Australia and take you to see and listen to the birds.

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Re: whistling doppler

Ahh, the wonders of technology Liz. I have just watched 'Australia's wild parrots and cockatoos, a PBS special,' on You tube. Magnificent.

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Re: whistling doppler

Liz, that was a most interesting reply and I totally agree with you about "blasted cockatoos" as it is telling the reader what to think about the situation rather than just showing them the events....

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Re: whistling doppler

Sounds like you saved me an airfare, Douglas.

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Re: whistling doppler

I take cheques, Barclaycard or postal orders.

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